𝖮𝖯𝖤𝖭 —

[wrests]

pics, starters, texts, overflow.

Comments

text;

[selfinterest]

did you know that apparently all you need to do to achieve immortality is trap a scarab in a turquoise cup
add some lotus seeds and honey
shake liberally
take out the scarab and preserve it in a glass jar of rose oil
and pray over it for seven days while the sun is in mid-heaven

to think that it would be as easy as tossing scarab salad and finding yourself a nice pickle jar

( 'hello, how are you?' is dead, it's nonsense o'clock. )

[wrests]

if you intend to do this my first suggestion is don't
my second is thoroughly wash the scarab

[selfinterest]

of course that’s your first suggestion
you never do anything fun

you don’t ingest it after its pickled
after all the praying you bury it with myrrh and wine
the text says in a flourishing bean field
but maybe a potted plant have the same effect

[wrests]

is immortality fun? who'd want to live forever

what kind of bean field

[selfinterest]

if you consider vampirism immortality-lite its been fun so far

this translation doesn’t specify
only that it has to be abundant in yield
you don’t read greek do you

[wrests]

( press x to doubt )

sorry but my greek is bad

is this a ritual you are planning to perform or is reading old greek spells a way to pass the time?

[selfinterest]

is a little bit of light reading to round out the education abnormal?

i thought you’d find this interesting

[wrests]

excuse me but anytime someone starts talking about achieving immortality my spidey sense goes off

[selfinterest]

does that mean you’re about to do something heroic and stop me?

[wrests]

not at all
you think you're the only one out there chasing immortality?

besides maybe i'm a little curious to see if you can do it

[selfinterest]

it’s a matter of when not if

the mithras liturgy is one oddly illustrated source of ritual knowledge
who knows how many more are out there
if helios mithras doesn’t like my offering it’s on to the next

[wrests]

on to the next
which has snakes

the one after that bull excrement

[selfinterest]

you don’t happen to know an agent that’s looking for a side hustle do you
it looks like i’m going to need an assistant that doesn’t mind getting their hands dirty

[wrests]

plenty of desperate people at the agency but i doubt anyone is foolish enough to help

( maybe if she donated some blood, the old man might assign someone to her. )

[selfinterest]

is helping a girl achieve a lifelong dream foolish? the job will even come with a nice safety guarantee

i bet the agency doesn't provide that in the contract

[wrests]

come on
you don't need help
you're more than clever enough to do it on your own
so why come to us about it?

[selfinterest]

maybe i’m tired of being an evildoer at large without a minion to carry out the smaller and less desirable tasks that come along with the occupation

( or maybe she is immortal-lite and kind of lonely... maybe )

[wrests]

but don't minions speak only in ( AHH WHAT'S THE WORD ) nonsense and cause trouble?
you don't want that

[selfinterest]

i think i’ll weed out anyone speaking gibberish in the first round of interviews
being under four feet with a yellow complexion is an automatic rejection

[wrests]

gibberish that's the word i was trying to remember

how long did it take for you to lose your accent?

[selfinterest]

it took a couple months to start palatalizing my consonants correctly
but ditching the accent was a necessity
there was a warrant out at the time for an exceptionally pretty bulgarian girl

you don’t like yours?

[wrests]

i think its fine
but not as though i have to hear it so you tell me

i was just curious about your accent

[selfinterest]

so you are curious about me outside my foolish quest for immortality

i happen to think your accent is cute

[wrests]

i'm curious about your origins and what made you who you are today
your intentions and modus operandi
no different than every subject that i've investigated

( he's just gonna ignore that last message asjlkdsa )

[selfinterest]

i’ll go ahead and make things easy for you
my intention is to outlive everyone around me
and my m.o. is tearing the throat out of anyone who jeopardizes that
that’s really all there is to it