𝖮𝖯𝖤𝖭 —

[wrests]

pics, starters, texts, overflow.

Comments

[wrests]

doctors have seen more embarrassing things
maybe
a knife wielding cat won't faze them

[falsecrown]

i think if i were a doctor i would absolutely be fazed
also the knife and the cat were separate
do i have to tell you the story of my night all over again

[he doesn't actually remember if he told alexei anything at all,]

[wrests]

you've told me no story

[falsecrown]

you mean i just let myself into your apartment without telling you why
that doesn't sound right

[wrests]

you letting yourself into my apartment doesn't sound right period
you owe me if you damaged my door

[falsecrown]

your door is perfectly fine
im sure i used a non-destructive spell that is escaping my memory atm
it is your carpet that you may have to worry about

[wrests]

i have already accepted the loss of my carpet
my door too
maybe the spell can return your mind when you explain to my landlord what happened to the door

[falsecrown]

i will blame the evil cat in this hypothetical scenario where your door is damaged
unless they own a cat
does your downstairs neighbor own a cat?

[wrests]

i don't know go ask her
maybe she'll patch you up and you can stop bleeding on my things

[falsecrown]

is this the same neighbor who gave you that sunflower?

[it takes a minute to swipe through the emojis, but felix manages]

😏

[wrests]

i don't know what that means and i don't care to know
don't bother my neighbors

[falsecrown]

😐
you are hopeless
perhaps you should bother them more often if they are sending you flowers

[wrests]

i'd rather she not send me anymore
they keep dying but she keeps sending me more i don't know how many times i have to tell her to stop

[falsecrown]

well
maybe you should take care of them so that they grow up nice and healthy
and that way she will stop sending you flowers to replace your dead ones

[wrests]

i'm rarely at my apartment so i have no time and attention to give to them
i don't like killing them
i don't naturally have the thumb when it comes to plants

[falsecrown]

what if you dried them instead?
you could put them in your expensive tea
im sure the addition will only improve the taste

[doubt.jpg]

[wrests]

what?
i'm not putting cactus in my tea
is this a subtle way of telling me to stick the dead plants i've killed in a place where the sun doesn't shine?

[falsecrown]

no??
if i wanted to tell you that then i would not be subtle about it

[. . .]

wait cactus?
you're killing cactus????
how do you kill a cactus they last forever

[wrests]

anything will die if you don't water it for weeks and you accidentally leave it under the heat vent

( sad! not even alexei is perfect! )

i take responsibility for being bad plant owner

[falsecrown]

[this is so funny]

my god
what if you got a fake cactus next
do you think you are bad enough to kill that too

[wrests]

i think even i the great plant killer am incapable of killing a plastic plant
as proof the one in my kitchen still lives
but i won't get a second because it will clash with the decor

( the german dentist-y decor. )

1 is fine 2 is too much

[falsecrown]

[he would be attacked by the reminder of alexei's decor, except he's already here absorbing psychic damage from it,]

i disagree
another fake plant would be a significant improvement
i feel depressed just bleeding here with one

[wrests]

why have another new extraneous thing in my apartment when the other one is bleeding on my carpet

[falsecrown]

what happened to being below expensive tea but above your carpet

[wrests]

i never said that
i said i accept the carpet is gone